Life as we show it

Memorial Necklace

2010-12-20T00:07:00.002-05:00

Yesterday my memorial necklace for the Walkerbot arrived. It's lovely.

The Miscarriage

2010-12-07T14:24:00.006-05:00

In June I underwent my second uterine surgery in just over three years. This time they had to repair scar tissue caused by the surgery in 2007. It all started pretty similarly to the first time I had polyps, extra unexplained bleeding and it was just weird. So I had a sonohystogram performed again (however this one was quite uncomfortable due to the scar tissue) and they found the scar tissue that had seemingly cause my uterus to grow together in some spots. Lovely. So the week after we returned from Yellowstone National Park I had the scar tissue repaired and another polyp removed. Apparently my body is a polyp factory these days. So my doctor suggested that we start trying to conceive before another polyp grew in there and caused more problems that would lead to another surgery. Given this news from my doctor Jordan and I discussed the issue and decided that we really wanted children so that sorta trumped the oh but we want to do this in life card. I had the surgery, waited one cycle and we were on the trying to conceive (TTC) wagon. The first month was pretty uneventful and we didn't really do anything but ovulation predictor kits (opk) to try and help our chances. That month was a flop. We were both disappointed but we had the knowledge that it could take six months to a year for a perfectly healthy couple. Month two of TTC came and I started charting to try and determine when I was ovulating since my cycles are so crazy. I had been reading pre-pregnancy and pregnancy books since May, it is August by now. Early September and we are a few days from going to NY to visit Katie and I got a very faint positive. The next day the line was gone. Then two days before our trip to NY I got another faint positive- okay body enough with the practical jokes. I was only 11 days past ovulation at this point. Day twelve came and went with nothing was again. I usually get my period on day twelve; no period. Day thirteen the day before we leave for Katie's and hello one very painful period. Lovely, it looks as though we had a chemical pregnancy. Jordan seemed pretty let down and I was but it didn't hit me too hard. We go to NY and just had fun. I went stroller shopping and fell in love with the stroller I plan to purchase when a baby arrives.

We came home from New York and were back on the TTC wagon. I had read an article about men having undescended testicles having trouble with conceiving so we have Jordan all checked out. We are both thrown for a loop when one of the numbers comes back a little low but we don't lose hope. We wait a few more weeks and have him tested again and make a visit to a urologist (who we both liked a lot) and this time the results are better than good. My chart looks insane that month and it looks like I didn't even ovulate. I go in for blood work to confirm if I did or not and surprise I did. A few days go by and before long it's 9dpo and that evening we got the first faint positive. I felt crazy because it was so faint it was barely visible but I know what I am seeing. I continued testing a few more days and the line continues to get darker. We conceived! How exciting?! Jordan and I both feel like we are so lucky because it happened so quickly. We make a quick trip to Burlington to share the good news. 10-10-10 will forever be that day of happiness and excitement with his parents. We've already told Katie the day before.

The Walkerbot October 23rd 2010

A couple weeks later I start having bleeding accompanied with pain. Go to the doctor, everything looks okay will have to undergo blood work before we know if I miscarried or not. So I have several days of blood work done- numbers double like they should. Yay! The Walkerbot survived whatever that was.

We go for our first ultrasound. The baby doesn't look like it should to the tech but that's because they aren't going off my conception date but my lmp. Then I have one more round of blood work and the number should be around 2500- it's only 911. The pregnancy is then classified as abnormal. Two doctors have two very different opinions about what to do. One doctor wants me to receive an injection of methotrexate in case this is an ectopic pregnancy not just a failing pregnancy. The other wants me to wait it out over the weekend and see what happens the next week.

Halloween is approaching. I have a rather nasty cold and just spend most of the week on the sofa. Friday the 29th comes and Jordan has yet to get part of his costume. No matter how bad I feel I get dressed and off to Wal-Mart we go. Then the cramping started. It was painful but nothing awful at first. We get the costume, have embarassing argument in public, grab dinner and come home. The cramps increase in pain and frequency. I start bleeding. We call the on call doctor and he says to get off my feet and rest. About two hours into the cramps I realize they are contractions. Like clockwork, every 20, 18, 15, 12, 10, 8 minutes. By the time they hit every 8 minutes we are in the emergency room. I check in and by the time the doctor comes around to examine me the contractions are about every two or three minutes. I pass the gestational sac while he is examining me. He removes it with a long q-tip and places it in a pathology cup. I'm okay up to this point. The doctor isn't convinced that everything is done. I endure a rather uncomfortable foley catheter combined with an ultrasound and nothing is visible. My contractions stopped the moment I passed the sac but now I have this really uncomfortable catheter in. After waiting a really long time for the doctor to say that my HCG did not drop enough for his liking I am told I have to receive the injection of methotrexate. No longer a happy camper by any means. I received the injection. We got home around 4am. I spent the next few days either crying or just sorta numb feeling. I still felt pregnant for a day or two and then it stopped. It's been a little over a month since then. I still have until February before we can try again thanks to the methotrexate.

It's been one extremely difficult month. Dealing with shifting hormones, depression and trauma from everything that happened, adjusting to the fact that I am no longer pregnant and just trying to find a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm still sad. How can I not be? My baby died and I had to see it placed in a plastic sterile cup so it could be sent off to be microscopically analyzed.

I have good days and bad days but overall I feel like I'm doing really well. I'm sorta just counting the days now until we can try again. Here's hoping we have a beautiful baby this time next year

Yarn Sale!

2010-02-08T15:59:00.009-05:00

Moda Dea Washable Wool-
$4

Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride Super Wash
$7
this yarn has a pink tint to it-

Debbie Bliss Pure Cotton
$6 ea

Plymouth Yarn Encore Colors
$4

Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino
$6 ea

Wool in the Woods- Pizazz. purchased at $21.95 a hank.
2 hanks shown
sell $14 ea

Plymouth Yarn Company Jeannee
purchased at $2.99 a skein
sell $2ea

Plymouth Yarn Company Bamboo Garden
purchased at $6.99
sell $4.00ea

Classic Elite Yarns
Lush Angora Wool
sell price for pink and black $5ea
sell price for green and blue $10ea

Retired Lion Brand Wool-Ease Tweed
sell price $3ea

Lang Malibu Pink Blue Multi
Sell Price $10

Caron Simply Soft Tweed
$3

Lambs Pride Cotton Fleece
$7 each

Cascade Bulky Fixation
DISCONTINUED $4 each

Berroco Duo
$ 7ea

Bernat Softee Chunky
$ 4

Artful Yarns Candy
$5ea

I have A LOT of yarn. This is well known among my knitting friends and family. Every hank, ball or skein has a story to tell. I've taken many trips since I learned to knit and it is very rare that I come home without yarn in tow.

It's time to destash.

I want to open up space for other yarns and for finished projects.

So here is all the yarn that I have up for sale...

Twenty-Ten

2010-01-05T22:44:00.007-05:00

-Purl Soho-

-Central Park November-

-ROLLER DERBY-

-Zoo-

-Epic Holiday party-

-My 25th Birthday-

-We had this on our front porch for a few weeks before Halloween & then on Halloween I wore the outfit and scared all the neighborhood kids... best Halloween EVER!-

- our 90lb pumpkin that Ken grew for us :)-

-Coraline trying to not be eaten by a zombie-

-brains-

good-bye 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR! and all that stuff. It's January 2010... wow. I have to say that as a child I thought by this time we'd have flying cars and live in a very 'Jetson' like world. I have yet to decide if the world we live in is even close to my childhood expectations, but it's the world we are in. I guess in the grand scheme it's a pretty interesting time and we have made great technological advances since our elementary days, I mean I carry a computer in my pocket everyday. If in 1994 you would have told me that I would have a phone that was also something that browsed the internet (which I knew nothing of at the time) and played games etc I would have thought you were an escapee from an institution. It's our world. It's no flying cars and space helmets but it is a time that is quickly advancing in the technology department.

My 2009 brought about so many adventures and trying times but I am proud to say that I am entering 2010 with a new understanding of my life, my goals and my dreams. I can look at who I was and make judgment, see who I am today and look forward to who I hope to be in 5, 10 years. I made great personal strides during 2009 and it is all coming together to make for a very happy 2010.

I have regained a functional relationship with my Mom and I am happy with where it is now. My expectations are lower, but not in a degrading way, I have just come to terms with what my parents can emotionally offer me. I have also learned what boundaries I need to establish in order to not be so negatively affected if and or when things don't work out the way I had hoped they would.

My relationship with my Dad is still an odd one, but I am not torn when I don't hear from him for long extended periods of time. I accept him and I look forward to the times we do talk or see each other but I don't dwell on the times we don't. It's a good mental compromise.

In 2009 I had several conversations with the Grandmother who raised me, and many were tear jerkers for me. They went against every instinct that I have but in the end I think they worked out well. I was able to express my anger and pain about our former lives that I had not previously been able to. I know that most of my family still sees me as a child but for the first time there was a moment where I think she heard me for the adult I have been for many years. The best part of this was the power was in my hands and I dictated contact, not her.

Jordan and I bought a home which changed our daily lives. I have started cooking more and I have gotten into running and made some changes to my life and I am hoping to continue all those healthy changes in 2010.

I don't have resolutions this year. I just don't. I feel like I would rather focus on improving my daily routines and the organization of my life than set goals. We'll see how the first few months go.

I have hopes for 2010- things that pertain to my health, my hobbies, my marriage and my friendships. So we'll see where those things lead over the next 12 months.

Happy 2010!

Summer Heat

2009-07-23T15:38:00.005-04:00

As the last days of July are approaching it hits me that I have seriously neglected my blog. If it were a living thing it would have been dead quite some time ago. The last time that I sat down and actually added to it was in June and to say the least much has happened since then.

June was fun and busy. The No Doubt Paramore concert came to Raleigh, World Wide Knit in Public day, Roller Derby, summer kayaking (every weekend), Christian turned 4 and the best thing, we put in an offer on a home!

The last weekend of June we put in an offer on a home in Apex NC- and here almost a month later we are days away from moving in. Let's not just skip ahead to August though, July has been full and busy.

First thing- July 3rd 2009 as we played in our apartment pool I hit my head on the bottom of it. Three hours, one cat scan and $4k(thank goodness for awesome health insurance) later our trip to the ER was over and I was free to go home with a huge bump on my head and some minor blurried vision. My head was super tender the next few days but I was normal by that weekend.

We spent July 4th with Heidi and Shawn setting off fireworks, eating grilled barbecue chicken and enjoying the summer evening. Pickles handled the fireworks pretty well- she stayed inside with the other doggies and waited for us to return inside to snuggle on the sofa.

Jordan is now a Technical Artist at Epic- no longer and environment artist. I think he is enjoying it, mainly because he has been staying late so much just because he wants to. I am definitely happy for him with this new step in his career.

Tomorrow is July 30th and we close on our first home. It is beginning to settle in that I am going to be in a house this weekend and I am quite excited about the entire thing. No more neighbors literally right outside your door. Saturday we move in and pay our last month's rent forever!

Eventually I will get around to posting some pictures-- eventually will I return to my typical life.

NO DOUBT & Paramore

2009-06-10T19:56:00.007-04:00

Monday night I went to see No Doubt and Paramore with Heidi, Heather, Melissa and Allison. Let's just say that was my favorite concert, ever. Aerosmith was fun, Les Claypool was great both times, and of course I loved Common and N.E.R.D but No Doubt was the best!

The traffic was horrific. We were on the interstate stopped for about 2-3 miles before the exit and then once you exited it was still another 2 miles to the actual place.

Good times to be had in traffic

FiNaLlY! in our seats!

Supafan Mel- excited!

Mel- Alli-Heather-Heidi

In another 5-10 years I'd like to go see Paramore again, I think they
will have developed enough to deliver a fun concert

Spiderwebs. I lost my mind I think. I was one of those girls in 1997
with this astheir answering machine message. Yep.

Their set was all white, clean and impressive. Had a very fluid feel to it. Loved it.

Second costume. It was shiny checkerboard.

Decent seats.

Adrian in striped long john bottoms and of course a pink tutu.

Loved it.

Simple kind of life.

Sunday Morning!

the Final bow.

Sunday May 24th 2009

2009-05-25T01:10:00.008-04:00

Today I went to Hillsborough to the yarn shop there.. it only took me what 18 months to drive the 40 miles to it. Lazy me. I have definitely been missing out. The lady working at the shop was very helpful and the shop had an interesting selection and a pretty large stock. I was pleased over all. After that I met Jordan at SouthPoint to help him shop for sun glasses. We found none. This evening we went to see Terminator Salvation.. we both enjoyed it overall. I thought that some of the cg was pretty accurate. Yay for one more day of time off. Tomorrow will be a mix of laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, Big Love, Stardust, and Sookie Stackhouse! I am currently on Book 3.... wishing to be closer to the end already! In the photos to the right are a rainbow I saw on the way home... well you may be able to see it. I seemed to just miss the rain every where I went today. =) not complaining about that by any means.

Eno River Friday May 22nd 2009

2009-05-25T00:54:00.005-04:00

On Friday after visiting the Duke Homestead Jordan and I went to the Eno River in Durham. Jordan took some great photos that he so kindly shared with me since I left my camera in the car. =) Along the way we saw lots of little toads, some frogs, one black snake sunning on a tree limb, a white tail deer (no photo) and one guy who just might be classified as a serial killer. It was gorgeous out and something I hope that we have the chance to do again before the days of 90+ degree days arrive..

Duke Homestead Friday May 22nd 2009

2009-05-25T00:46:00.006-04:00

For Memorial Day weekend Jordan and I both had Friday and Monday off. We did some mini adventures around North Carolina.

Friday- Duke Homestead- Durham North Carolina.

Pickles & Oreo

2009-05-25T00:39:00.004-04:00

Just some photos of the pup and kitty. New harness for Pickles. Oreo finding comfy spots on very inappropriate things.

Mother's Day

2009-05-13T11:33:00.003-04:00

So as you all may know I have not seen my mother since my wedding (04-6-08) and things have been rocky all around in that department. I've been working the relationship back up on my terms, mainly, and trying to become more comfortable with the idea of seeing my mom. Well that day finally came last Friday. We had talked a few times over the past few weeks and I decided that I could handle Mother's Day better if we just re-started our relationship with that, sorta on a positive note. My mom came down and I took her to lunch, gave her a small gift and a very suitable card. It was a bit awkward but easier than I had thought it would be. I guess my relationship with my mom is like riding a bike- you never forget how, but I am just hoping I have improved on my coping skills. I'm not setting any expectations for this- just sorta going with the flow. She'll call when she has time and thinks about it. I'm not pressuring myself to call her.

My dad has not spoken to me in a while. I am pretty sure it has to do with a very assertive email that I sent him about what he needs to be doing to properly care for my siblings. These grievances would not be aired by anyone else I am sure, so I did it. I'm never very assertive with men in my life (other than Jordan) but I decided it was high time I was. At the time that I sent that email I think things were crazy and it may have been a while before it got the email... which probably only added a tinge of lighter fuel to a already large fire. Oh well. He'll get over it. I know that the siblings are giving him a run for his money so to speak. I am sure he is clueless to just how well behaved I was as a child and teenager. From the looks of things neither of my siblings will be as calm as I was.

Jordan and I have been kayaking once- which we loved! It was sooo much fun. If I had oodles of money to blow I would run out and buy one and all the gear. We've been canoeing a few times- but not recently. Maybe this weekend we will- we should, I need to just not stop us from doing it.

In my own life I have begun a new set of books, the Southern Vampire series/Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. HBO based their hit show, True Blood, off of this series and as my reward for reading book one I will watch season one from netflix once it is out. I read book one last week and I am now on book two, It's going slow but that doesn't mean I am not enjoying it.

Knitting related- I finally finished pink sock 1. YAY! Now to start/finish pink sock 2! I also decided to cut my losses with my pink 'waffle' stitch gone wrong scarf. It just kept meeting it's end with Oreo and Pickles and everything! I bound off and it's going to be a neck wrap.

This weekend Heather, Melissa, Allison and I are all going to the roller derby in Raleigh. As you can imagine we are all very excited about this and hope to see some seriously awesome action. After trying to make it to one of their games for almost a year we are finally attending!

In June Heidi, Heather, Allison, Melissa and I are all going to see No Doubt/Paramore at Walnut Creek. Since I was 11 Gwen Stefani/No Doubt has had a very special place in my heart. Their band really made an impact on me as a pre-teen/teen. Seeing them live will be like coming full circle for me. Paramore is still rather new to me, other than the Twilight soundtrack I don't know much of their music career.

Well back to my Wednesday chores!

I am in serious withdrwal.....

2009-04-19T19:14:00.003-04:00

It is done. I have finished Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I am done. The books are back on the shelf. They are finished. There has never been a set of books that I have finished so quickly and enjoyed so much at the same time. The writing was not perfect and by no means deep but it was so enjoyable to read them, to be at those stages of life in my head (if they were actually like that) and to remember the first feelings of being love. I am still trying to decide what I think of the ending of the saga- have yet to make my mind up but overall I loved the books. In deciding which book I like the most I would probably say New Moon, not because I cried through the entire book but because it was a re-awakening for Bella and for my self. Your skin was a little thicker after experiencing something like that as a teenager and I feel as though seeing it from the outside made my own skin thicken up a bit.

I went through Eclipse so fast that I feel I need to re-read it to remember the story at all... Breaking Dawn was fabulous, even though the ending seemed awfully rushed, it was a wonderful story with a lot of twists. It is safe to say that Stephenie Meyer had to rush through it or it was likely to be a thousand pages or more before the end.

I am trying to figure out what to read next. I had a few chapters of the first Harry Potter to finish so I did that.. and now I am in between reading Wuthering Heights, or Pride & Prejudice. They are both classics that I feel I need to read. I also have some other light reading to do while deciding.

In July Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is going to be released- which as one can imagine I am more than excited about. Heather, Melissa and I are all going to wear our knit gear to it. Sometime this summer I will have to get around to making my Ravenclaw scarf to wear proudly. We are still looking for a hufflepuff to go with us. No luck so far.

This November New Moon is coming out- which I will be wearing my 'Alice' scarf to if I am able to get my speed back up with knitting. My tendonitis is still bothering me occasionally, this time I did the 500mg naproxen instead of the cortisone shot. I have yet to decide if this is the right method for my wrist.

Spring is here- and we have had the chance to go canoeing twice at Lake Wheeler, which is absolutely gorgeous. On one side there are a lot of rather large rocks on the waters edge hanging over and sticking out from under the water. Jordan and I are planning to go this Thursday during the day to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary. Oh- that's right April 6th was our first wedding anniversary- which we have yet to celebrate because I had horrible allergies that led to bronchitis the week of the anniversary. While I was sick Jordan got a cold that had him sleeping every extra minute he could. The 'yellow' enemy has been covering everything we touch for weeks now and I cannot wait to see it gone completely. I know the drought caused it to be so much worse this year. Stupid drought. Stupid pollen.

and the clouds faded away

2009-03-29T22:00:00.004-04:00

written march 29th 2009-

Sitting here reading New Moon and it starts to sink in that I feel like I've come out of some major gloom that I had been under for over a year. Nothing too serious the past 6-8 months however it's still been there... in the back of my thoughts.. that gloom. Gloom coming from everything from the horrible drowning feeling that came when I moved back to North Carolina and left the boy child. I cried every day for about a month about leaving him and the pain that caused me, and the confusion it must have caused him.Then Maw Maw passed away that October and it was so so sad and we were caught so off guard. That same day I bought my wedding gown and even the excitement of the wedding did not keep the gloom away.

Finally the wedding came and went and it was fun and we were happy but the month's following were going to be more difficult than I thought. My mom and I stopped talking. There were some very big misunderstandings and I realized that I needed time to figure out what I was doing and how to work out my issues with my parents.

I started therapy in October. I am so grateful for my therapist. The baggage from my child hood has stopped making it's way into my marriage. I feel as though I have been able to step back and look at my life from the outside... and make better choices because of it.

I am learning to just accept the family that I have been given, without agreeing. It is just the idea that they are who they are and they will continue to be that way until they die. They are not perfect, they are not ideal, they are imperfect, flawed humans that are my parents. I'm learning to cope with them better.

This week I have been happy. Genuinely happy. Giddy, laughing, smiling... Amanda again. I have returned to my cackle laugh and the joyful world that I have missed for a long long time. I'm me again.

Spring is probably helping this feeling. The anticipation of being out on the lakes in my canoe or on the kayak drenched in sunblock (to save my skin) enjoying my adult life.

I think I have felt like I am finally grown up- and those strong ties to my family and how sad our relationships have always made me feel is finally wearing off. Maybe it is the great distance I have put there, maybe it is just that I have grown up- I have recovered.

I am grown up.
I am recovered.
I am stronger.
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am thankful.
I am me again.

I got bitten....

2009-03-29T18:43:00.002-04:00

I took the plunge last week into Stephenie Meyer's first book, Twilight. Within 3 days I had completed the 500 pages. Now I am reading New moon which in 3 days I've made it to page 400. I'm hooked. I''m totally on team Edward right now... and just love the characters so much. I have not figured out yet how I feel about Jacob.

Last night I watched Twilight on blu-ray and I have already re-watched it. I enjoyed it. Edward and Bella are such great characters. Alice and Jasper were great. I am thinking about making the Alice scarf for the release of New Moon. I think that would be a great scarf for November.

I told my friends Heather and Melissa that after reading Twilight I have an entire new appreciation for my birthstone, topaz, like Edwards eyes. haha.

I will hopefully burn through the rest of New Moon this evening and move on to Eclipse either tonight or tomorrow.

Well back to Jacob, Bella, Sam and the lack of Edward.

is it April yet?

2009-03-21T09:14:00.007-04:00

No I'm not wanting April to be here because it will be my first wedding anniversary, I am wanting April to arrive so that the boat houses will open at all the local parks which means.... KAYAK time! Last year we discovered canoes pretty late in the year but we really enjoyed it and really want to do it again this year however I think we want to try kayak's for various reasons. Jordan and I went to Lake Wheeler this past week one evening and just watching the sun set near that gorgeous water made us both want to be on the water. We also came away from that thinking how awesome it would be to own a home on a body of water like that, now granted I am sure none of those homes would be in our price range but it's ok to dream right?

April 6th is fast approaching and well that will be 1 year since our wedding. I have no idea where the past year went, I do not feel as though that was a year ago by any means.

March 8th I went to Massachusetts to visit my friends there and it was so nice! The kids had all grown so much and oh how I just wanted to squeeze all of their cheeks. They are all going to be grown before I can blink my eyes. I need to definitely make more trips up to visit all of them. Seeing their town was great too because I have really missed working there. It ended up being a gorgeous weekend and right in between two snow storms for them. It was so much fun and I immediately missed everyone.

I've not been knitting as much as I would like- my bum wrist has been bothering me off and on but consistently since around Christmas. I am finally going back to Dr. Giggle, I mean Dr. Tuttle to have another shot of cortisone in it. I was good I have been able to put off getting it for a while but in some ways that was stupid because I've been less productive and just sorta crabby about my wrist. I know mine is in no way as bad as the MIL so I feel bad ever even complaining about it but dang it, this thing hurts. I dred the shot though, not for the immediate pain but for the pain that follows the few days after the shot. That was the annoying part last time, and it makes me nervous with being around kiddos and things that require me to lift them.

I have finished a few projects though. I made Jordan a heinous ear flap hat that he refuses to wear, I made myself a pretty little odessa hat which I love and I have a sock for myself almost finished. Gotta work on that!!

This week I gave in to peer pressure and bought Twilight. Yep. I'm reading it. I'm sucked in. I'm enjoying it. Woo hoo!

In other news- my mom and I spoke for the first time on the phone in eleven months on Tuesday. It was for about 30 mins and nothing major happened. We just chatted, awkwardly.

Also- if you live in my hometown you may have seen that my ex-step mom is missing. Yep. It's all right out of forensic files. While I am not directly emotionally affected by this I am sad for my step sister and half brother who very well may have to grow up now minus a mother. I know their previous arrangement in life with her had not been the best but you never want them to be missing/dead. I am fearful of what affect this will have on both kids and if they will get the counseling that they need to cope.

OH- we did have that freak snow storm in March- here are the photos from that as well as a photo of Pickles with a face covered in this maple treat she oh so loves.

Also I included a few photos of when we had Pickles fixed in February. She was such a trooper! Everything went really well with the surgery and the recovery (even though she managed to pull out a few stitches!) and she bounced back as quick as we suspected.

February Already

2009-02-01T23:11:00.005-05:00

So today is the second of February and I feel like this past month has flown by. I can't imagine the entire year flying by so quickly. There is so much we want to do this year and so many things I hope we can enjoy in 2009.

In just 2 months we will celebrate our first wedding anniversary- which it does not seem like it has already been 10 months since our wedding. I still haven't even gotten all the photos printed that I want. I have hung a few photos up on the wall and have a few more on my desk waiting to be framed or put in an album.

Tonight I made these: DIY sock blockers- how awesome is that? Instead of spending $15-30 I spent a lovely $3 and made these myself. Now granted I may need to make a different pair for men's socks or for kids socks but for the amount I can afford to! Yay for a thrifty project!

Here is the tutorial for this project

I'm still not talking with my Mom- yep.. the last time we spoke or even saw each other was the wedding. Oh well. We are writing but the problem with that is she is never going to tell the truth or all the bad stuff in letters. I guess at least we are having some form of communication. Every time I see my therapist that is one of the first things she asks me and I always feel almost guilty or slack that I haven't called my Mom, but honestly I'm just not ready. A few weeks ago I was missing her so much. It was after Christmas and I just got down about the entire situation, and I got down about the fact that I am pretty sure it does not really affect my mom in any way shape or form. She's still living her wild life and everything like nothing else is going on and as if nothing bothers her. She and my dad are back to talking and going behind my back to talk. Lovely. Annoying. Stupid. Oh the words that I can use to describe their relationship. It is so ridiculous.

I am working on socks and my skills with that have definitely gotten better which makes me happy. There are so many projects that I am just aching to start. I have plans to do the noro striped scarf and I want to do some socks using my dumbledore yarn from Asheville- not to mention the two sarves that are just waiting for me to finish and love them. Then I need to finish Jordan's ear flap.. I am totally dragging my feet with that one.

I do have to say that I am so glad that I have made knitting friends in the area. I enjoy the idea of having these people around to knit with- and who share my same lust for things of the wool variety. My thanks have to go to Ravelry.com for making that happen- I messaged fellow knitters in the area to find out about starting a knitting group and how big of an interest there was and I am just so glad I did because I feel like I've met some awesome women.

Here are my goals for 2009

1. Buy a house (with at least 20% down)
2. Pay off Jordan's car
3. Learn to do cables
4. Learn to do two socks at once
5. try some color work with something- even if it is a hat.
6. make more stuff for me
7. travel more
8. get back in shape.. and eat healthy again..
9. be more neat in my desk area at home
10. get out with friends more

Things I look forward to

1. canoeing/kayaking this spring/summer
2. being more fit
3. loweing my cholesterol
4. celebrating our first anniversary
5. traveling!
6. knitting more for myself
7. finishing more books!
8. turning 25- for some odd reason that excites me.
9. buying a home- getting away from apartments!
10. having a garage!!! haha

january was busy

2009-01-29T13:09:00.005-05:00

It seems like the new year was just yesterday in many ways, yet the month has also felt quite long. The days have come and gone and every day has seemingly been busy as it could be. This month is nearly over and I feel as though I need to stop, sit and catch my breathe for just a minute and look back over the month.

December was busy with holidays, our trip to Asheville/Biltmore and work in general. It was a rather uneventful month until I cut Pickles ear with the clippers. There I stood with blood dripping from her ear onto the table and I felt like I might faint. In my head I thought 'oh my god I have mutilated our dog' when in reality it was the tiniest little cut. The first few days I just cleaned it and put antibiotic ointment on it and that worked well. Then I was combing her and saw how it was healing, uh oh- this is going to be an issue. So off to see Dr. Coleman we went and she ended up getting 2 stitches. She spent the next two weeks (including Christmas) wearing a big plastic cone. She looked ridiculous. She got stuck trying to fit between the sofa and the end table. She ran into walls. She did everything she possibly could to bump, knock, bang, hit everything in our apartment with that hideous cone.

The beginning of the month we had Katie in from NYC and she spent the night with us a couple times which was nice. Pickles LOVES Winston- not so sure he feels the same way. He looks like an old man and has a very similar personality of one too. He eventually warmed up to her and then it was on! They ran circles around each other jumping over Oreo and bouncing on the sofa's. It was hilarious and they seemed to be having the best time, of course then it was time to go to bed so we could take Katie to the airport in the morning. Pickles looked for him all that afternoon, she liked having a doggie playmate.

I went to the eye doctor and found out that I have an astigmatism causing lots of vertical blurriness in my vision. Yep- I've joined the glasses wearing world. I got some really cute Kate Spade glasses that I do like wearing so I guess that is the good thing. I don't have to wear them all the time, just to help relieve eye strain so I usually wear them during the day and take them off at night. Jordan says it looks like I am wearing a costume when I have them on- not sure if that is a good thing or not.

On January 13th I got the chance to meet a knitting author, Betsy Greer, at our local Barnes & Noble. The book she wrote is called 'Knitting for Good' and it is all about finding ways to give back to your community with your craft be it knitting or not. The author was really friendly and it was nice to see someone from the community speaking. My friend Melissa was there which was fun, we had someone we knew that we could giggle at during certain outbursts from strange people in the audience. You know if I am around there has to be a crazy in the crowd. This particular crazy was obsessed with how the title of the book was incorrect and how Betsy should really change the name. Yep. She told Betsy to change the title of the book, then as if that wasn't enough she demanded her autographed copy in the MIDDLE of her speech. This lady had a major case of the rudes. She cracked me up and gave Melissa a case of the giggles.

Then that weekend Melissa and I hung out and went to a LYS in Raleigh called Yarnbirds. It was fun, and I got some gorgeous sock yarn- in Valentine's day inspired colors. The two colors remind me of sweethearts, you know the ones in those little boxes that kids give out at school. I can't wait to start a pair of socks with that. I have been busy knitting socks. Loving it. Working on sock number two of the most recent pair on here. The yarn is really fun looking. After doing some damage to our wallets at the yarn store we went and had food at Panera which was a lot of fun.

That same day I found out that my sister Caylee had been in a car accident the night before. In December she got her license so she's been enjoying her new found privilege and venturing out on the weekends etc. That night she was driving out to her grandparents in he country and apparently she ran off the road over corrected ran off the road at which point her car rolled 4/5 times. The corner of the windshield and top of car caved in on her head cutting open her forehead and causing multiple fractures to her skull. During this too her jaw got broken in two places. They life flighted her to UNC Chapel Hill where she spent the next couple days in and out of the ICU and Trauma Unit. She had some swelling on her brain and luckily no brain damage occurred. She was in the hospital for 8 days and is now home recovering. We are definitely lucky to still have her here.

So the following week we ended up having snow here in Cary. Yep- we had about 6 inches at our place and it was so pretty and fluffy. Pickles LOVED it. Taking her out to potty in it became crazy though because she would have all these little snow clumps on her legs. Jordan and I would team up on her with a towel and blow dryer until she was warm and dry. The best part was she seemingly got a couple baths a day until the snow melted away, so she was quite white every day.

So yesterday was Jordan's 25th birthday and it was low key and a side of bad luck. I had bad luck all morning and then that things got worse. Jordan and I were driving out in Holly Springs and BAM! The right side of the car dipped down and made a horrible crashing sound. During the rain storm we had around 3pm a giant pot hole had formed. No joke it was about 5 inches deep and nearly 2 feet wide. A low thudding noise came from the passenger front tire and then ding ding the pressure gauge light came on. Yep flat tire. Not only a flat tire but a damaged rim. Lovely. Happy Birthday Jordan. Not only that but his gift didn't come and when I called the company to question them about it I found out that it had been oversold online and would not be coming at all. Then I called all the local shops to find out they were all sold out too. Nice.

Poor Jordan. We'll have to do a very Happy un-Birthday again in a few weeks. The only really good thing that happened was that we went to Tamarind, the local Indian restaurant and had a yummy meal.

At least he will remember his 25th birthday though- maybe 26 will bear him better gifts.

Maybe tonight he will have a nice do-over with Heidi and Shawn.

Wow it's 2009

2009-01-20T23:20:00.014-05:00

so pretty

another pair of socks

just in your face!

how pickles plays on the sofa with a squeaky

Her pink lush hat

Heidi's hat for Christmas

Shawn's finished hat

some beautiful yarn from a friend for Christmas- soo soft

a recent scarf project- that I will finish eventually.

It was GORGEOUS-

Epic Christmas Party 2008

winter park fun

my ears are NOT big

Merry Christmas

we had an incident with the clippers- whoops.
she got to be space dog for a couple weeks

she was "yarning" shawn's hat

semi smiling

ok- so the hat did fit when I made it... she grew

shawn was with us of course

hannah was sweet and shared the bed

pickles the space dog

dad looks excited

who wouldn't smile over wall-e?

a very happy jordan with his new D-80

He may have stroked out for a minute

Christmas!

The sweet potato hat I made her for Christmas

Katie wearing the Republic Hat that I knit her in the fall

Winston!

REALLY

couch potato

kisses

I think that she means business

yum bone

Angie and Ken

Her beard is actually clean

She is a cuddle bug

Pickles!

opening gift

Katie in the hat I made her for Christmas- opening her gift

Happiest Pup in the World!

As anyone can see I've been behind for a while. So here is a LOAD of photos from the past few months. November, December and January. Knitting, Christmas, Pickles- us- lots of random stuff.

Halloween- Knitting Group and Pickles!

2008-11-19T21:04:00.006-05:00

freshly shaven!

Oreo's paw is literally in Pickles mouth

Some guy dressed as Quailman- from Doug-
his girlfriend was also dressed as Quailman

NapperTandy's

again- lots of drunk people...

Miss Sushi!

Miss Sushi and her accomplice

noooo- we had NOT been drinking...

I can honestly say this is one of the ONLY times
I can remember being intoxicated
in public. It was actually a lot of fun. lol.

Pickles taking shelter in the "cat house"

I cannot believe she is almost 5 months old already.

The knitting group that I started at Crabtree Valley Mall-
Nikki you had the best pic I hope that
you don't mind if I used it here. :)

yarn and lunch.

so much fun

I've been slack this year at posting blogs- well anything other than photos that is. It's been an odd year for me- lots of ups and downs. I've slacked off in my writing about my life I know. It's just really hit me that I haven't written much in months.

I do have more photos that I want to share though. :)

GEARS OF WAR 2 Launch

2008-11-07T11:38:00.008-05:00

Last night at Midnight Gears of War 2 went on sale nationwide. Many of the guys from Epic, including Jordan went out to Best Buy to sign copies of the games, posters, action figures- whatever they had.

Here are photos from the night....

We all got a Gears 2 trucker hat...

Epic Guys

We are obviously excited

another shot of the guys outside

hanging out before hand

Josh and Jordan preparing to sign away

Gears of War 2 and other related merchandise

Mike, Bill and Jordan
Office mates....

Hiya!

they were in a cheery mood

those epic guys...

people waiting outside for it... yay

raffling off Gears merchandise!

signing those first posters...

people

Gears Fans!

Pumpkins

2008-10-29T17:04:00.001-04:00

We carved our pumpkins last night!

I am ridiculously behind!

2008-10-26T22:31:00.008-04:00

If you ever watched Pee's Wee's playhouse you will
totally get why our friend Will immediately
said "mekka lekka hi mekka hiney ho"
Lovely Floating head Amanda

Aw- our first night back in NC at the Gears 2 party in Raleigh

Jordan, our friend Demond and I at the Gears 2 Gold Party

Friends Janet and Bill

The HUGE ice sculpture!

Bill and my weird husband

Vegas- Imperial Palace- 4am- after lots of slots and drinks!

at Bellagio Gardens

We're there!

Bellagio Gardens

The Wynn

Forgot to zoom back out- whoops. new camera...

really- that's the face you are going to make?

that's better :)

yep- I married him. lol

yay for vacation!

Have I mentioned that Pickles likes to get in my yarn stash?

Jordan and Shawn love my Birthday gift

Southeastern Animal Fiber Fair/Festival in Asheville NC
2008

SAFF

and again

one more time!

Pickles Bot Walker!

Miss Babs yarn!

SO pretty!

swift and winder away!

Brooks tree farm. We bought yarn from them last year.
Nothing from this year though.

They so love the company of each other.

How I love my puppy!

Ok So above are like a thousand photos stretching over the course of about a month. Our honeymoon in Vegas, the Gears of War 2 Gold Party, Pickles & Oreo, SAFF, and just other randomness.

Common and NER*D

2008-10-04T09:31:00.004-04:00

Jordan and I spent our Friday night at NC State's Homecoming where N*E*R*D and Common performed. I'll write more later but here are the photos that I took..

Pharrell

They pulled up about 8 guys on stage- then
later they did this with about 15 girls!

N*E*R*D

The crowd downstairs

Common

His show was pretty energetic

The sign they unveiled as Common came on

Battle One - Oreo vs. Pickles 2008

2008-10-02T23:17:00.001-04:00

\

Let's watch as they "battle" it out in a playing fit. This happens a few times a night, although they are usually MUCH better than this. More chasing and climbing involved.

My Tuesday Morning....more blankets.... Pickles...and more

2008-10-01T23:23:00.005-04:00

I need to iron out the wrinkles...

So here is how my Tuesday morning went. Both animals were going nuts for food and to attack each other/play/escape. We have Oreo's food and water bowl on the purple container that we keep her food in to keep Pickles from eating it. Well I have NO clue what happened here but as I poured Pickles food I just heard bangs and the sounds of porcelain breaking and this is what I turned around to. You can't see it but there is water all over the floor into the laundry room and just a huge mess in general. The bowl is one I painted when we decided to get Pickles... good bye bowl.

how sweet... I'm sure I will hear about this one

A blanket I made tonight to go in the car

We have been keeping one of the blankets next to the sofa and she goes and lies on it when we are on the sofa. How sweet is that.

I think she likes it.

I know she loves this one

Pickles is learning to roll over

2008-09-26T09:13:00.002-04:00

I started teaching Pickles the parts of roll over earlier in the week and she caught on really quickly to that. She isn't getting it every time but she does get it some of the time now when I give her the command.

Pickles New Harness

2008-09-24T23:17:00.004-04:00

Pickles is growing like a weed so we got her a new harness today that will take her until she is nearly fully grown- although she will probably end up in something else before then knowing and seeing how dirty she gets things. She is seen below snuggling with her halloween dinosaur weenie toy. She loves her new harness and this toy is one of her favorite toys. How sweet is she all cuddled up in these photos.

Below is Oreo all snuggled up on blankets on our extra office desk she seemed to be exhausted today- she was here off and on for nearly 8 hours today! Today was definitely a lazy day for her.

How sweet of you Oreo

2008-09-24T22:48:00.004-04:00

As you see below I made two blankets for Pickles. In an effort to keep the sofa free of puppy yuckies we have been keeping one on the sofa for when she is on the sofa with us. Well to my surprise a few nights ago Oreo decided that she wanted to make use of the blanket as well. Pickles was asleep and I was knitting and Oreo hopped up on the sofa and made herself comfortable. I was so pleased because to me this means that she has accepted Pickles into her life and into our family. It was quite sweet. The two of them stayed there while I worked on a baby sock and watched some tv. Eventually Pickles or Oreo one woke up and decided cuddle/together time was over.

As I said above I was knitting while they were up with me and this is the first sock I made for a newborn. How incredibly tiny and adorable is this thing. I am planning to keep this first set of baby ones for our future children, even though they are still years off. I will put it away along with the crocheted baby blankets that I made years ago for the future Walker babies.

I also have several friends who are expecting little girls in the winter. I will have to make more for them and their little babies. This pattern was incredibly easy and I really enjoyed making them over the past few nights. I will have to add a photo of the two later on because I haven't had the chance to take any photos yet.

Bad Dog Pickles!

2008-09-21T19:08:00.002-04:00

Today I went to the grocery store- was gone about all of 40-45 minutes. I left Jordan in charge. I think everything went fine until he came downstairs to help carry up the groceries. Here is what we returned to... this all happened in about 3-5 minutes of being home alone!

She wasn't punished- turns out this was our fault. While cleaning up the dining room today her bin of toys got put up where she could not reach. What else was she to do? The main objective is to be entertained and play... and if there are no designated toys you find some make shift ones.

So to say the least this ball of yarn has seen much better days... not sure if it can be salvaged yet or not. We will just have to see when I have the patience to sit and try to rewind it into one ball.

Blanket for Pickles # 2

2008-09-21T12:20:00.004-04:00

The corner of the blanket has pieces from the first one.

This one is a bit thicker than the first one

She likes it already!

Pickles 10 weeks old

2008-09-21T01:52:00.004-04:00

So a while back Angie and Rhonda made some really cute dog/cat blankets. Oreo has one and now so does Pickles. Well I was bored tonight- decided I would make her one. I have enough to make another as well- which I probably will tomorrow.

Here is blanket one that I made.

Pickles and Oreo adjusting to each other

2008-09-06T16:26:00.004-04:00

Watching over her as she snoozes

I just need some sleep!

Out on the sofa after a walk

As if to say- don't make any sudden moves!

Sharing the dog bed

Out on the balcony

Puppy Face!

Pickles came home 2 weeks ago now and so there are still some adjustments going on for Oreo. She is much more of a "I want to be as high off the ground as possible" cat now and she is a bit more assertive with Pickles now than she was a week ago.

I have been encouraging her and bribing her to be a good girl to Pickles- so she understands that being nice to Pickles means treats. It's going pretty well still so I guess it has been an easy addition.

Pickles is 8 weeks old now and quite the character. She loves to chase your feet and to play with all of her toys. She is walking well on the leash and has started going to walks around our apartment complex which totally exhaust her. She sits on command and we are working on lie down...it has been harder than Sit was but we are getting there.

Pickles on Youtube

2008-08-31T23:30:00.002-04:00

Here is a video of our Pickles performing the sit command tonight.

Pickles on Youtube

2008-08-31T23:30:00.000-04:00

Video

Here is a video of our Pickles performing the sit command tonight.

Pickles 7 weeks old

2008-08-31T20:04:00.005-04:00

We have now had Pickles for 1 full week and she is already a big part of our family. She is hilarious and a big hit at our house. Oreo might not tell you the same thing as she is just extremely curious/ afraid of this new addition but they are becoming more playful with each other.

Today I taught Pickles to sit- using the word command, a hand signal and a tiny piece of treat. She caught on REALLY quick and now does it with the hand command alone! How impressive is that. I also started working with her on the leash some, which is still a bit crazy. She doesn't care for her harness and the pulling feeling it has to produce but she is catching on to how to walk so that it doesn't pull or bother her.

Here are some photos that I took today of her snoozing on our sofa.

She is OUT!

All snuggled up

Doesn't she just have the cutest face?!

Pickles is Home!

2008-08-24T00:26:00.005-04:00

We got to bring Pickles home today. She is tiny, and adorable and a sweetheart. We had a very busy day showing her to everyone and introducing her to Oreo. The two of them did very well, Oreo is curious yet frightened of this 2-3lb fur ball. Pickles is out to play and romp, coming from a family with 4 brothers she is full of energy to express.

We had a great first day home with her, very few accidents and many trips downstairs to potty. Now if only her first night goes as well!

Here are a few pictures that weren't blurry.

Dinner Time! Look how much
bigger my sister is!

My haircut-

my teeny tiny coat!

Introducing Pickles!

2008-07-25T17:37:00.004-04:00

Today I went to Greensboro to meet my sweet and oh so tiny Pickles! She is just two weeks old (as of today). Her eyes are just beginning to open and she is moving around a bit. She has 4 brothers who are all there with her and it was cute to see her push her way right through the boys to the spot she wanted in the bed. She was squeaking and attempting to nurse my neck, and just adorable. I am definitely ready to bring her home.

So here she is- our little girl...

Pickles

Puppy Business

2008-07-18T00:04:00.004-04:00

So in the near 6 years that Jordan and I have been together we have gone back and forth on the idea of adopting any new pet, be it dog or cat. We just had a hard time deciding if we wanted to add to our family or not.

We have decided-

In August we will be bringing home a female Miniature Schnauzer to join our life. She was born last Friday, July 11th and I can't wait to meet this new addition to our family. There are books, magazines, pamphlets all about the house and a many of websites have been "bookmarked" this week. I want to make sure I know everything I can to better help me raise a smart, well behaved companion.

We don't get her until late August and I already have the following items in place for her.

1. Crate
2. Lead
3. collar and harness
4. poop bag container with bio-degradable bags
5. shampoo
6. puppy kong
7. play mat
8. a knit blanket for her
9. food bowl
10. other assorted items

I am excited to say the least. It was just one of those things we decided to do. Reasons for doing it now versus later

a) we are still living in an apartment, so if accidents happen it isn't the end of the world
b) we don't have children yet so i have the time to devote to training her
c) i only work 3 days a week currently which make training her a lot easier
d) help us motivate to get outdoors to exercise

Oreo is going to be interesting with this new addition I am sure. My thought is that she will be angry and not enjoy this new loud tiny fur ball in our home, but once she gets adjusted to the sounds and activity they will become great friends. Oreo needs someone to play with and keep her happy in this stage of her life. She has been without animal companion since she was 8 weeks old!

I can't think of much else that is new and exciting. I will post pictures of the new fuzzy one as soon as we have some.

Wish us luck!

Our New Car!

2008-07-05T17:05:00.002-04:00

Last weekend we bought a new car. We bought a 2008 Mazda Speed 3- which is a sporty hatchback. We love it.

Here are some pictures of it. Not many, because it rained and now the car is dirty, but wanted to share some images of it.

A Tribute to THE Honda

2008-07-05T16:37:00.006-04:00

So as many of you know Jordan and I have been driving a 1994 Honda Accord for a while now. She has had her good days and her bad, but always been there. This Honda made it through Hurricanes, Blizzards, and Ice Storms. She has definitely lived a very long life now well over 300,000 miles. This blog is in tribute to the car that has seen us from North Carolina, to Florida to Massachusetts and back to North Carolina and all the hard work that went into keeping her alive (thanks Dad).

Each of the following photos of THE Honda will depict different injuries that she has survived through over time.

If you will look at the above photo you will see an area near the right side that looks scratched- it got side swiped by a Jeep Cherokee in Salem NH sometime during the winter of 2005. The lady driving the SUV sped away.

The Speedometer says 254, 302 when in actuality it is much higher, but the speedometer does not always work so many miles were never added.

All the salt/sand from Massachusetts winters just
destroyed the clear coat of the Honda's hood.

Rubber is still there for the most part. Under the duct tape is a button that bypasses a switch that turns on the fuel pump. The tape is there to hold the button down as we drove from Cary to Elon.

Just a full view of the Honda

If you will look above you will see dashes of white paint. A white Subaru WRX in the parking lot where we lived in MA swiped it while parking. UGH.

Above is the most recent and annoying injury. I came home one night to see someone had hit the driver side of the Honda. It has lovely white paint and dents and the reflector got broken. The person left a note with a phone number. When we called they said they weren't that person etc etc. How annoying. We tried on several occasions to call the number back- they never answered.

Another view of the honda

While living with Jordan's parents the passenger side door got hit by a dog. When I say dog I mean beast. On a nearby street there is a dog that loves to chase cars and one day when Jordan was driving home the dog was chasing a truck and ran right into the door leaving the above dent. The dog still chases cars.

No real damage to the front end, just a blurry headlight and lots of odd white marks, which we think are from the sand in Massachusetts.

Good-Bye Clear Coat.

Apparently we could never get the key in on the first try. haha

New Car, Knitting, MRI

2008-06-29T11:24:00.007-04:00

My Sherbrooke Cowl in progress

A dress I made for Lily

Another shot of it

A dress I made for Emerson

The dress minus the button

My Cowl finished and on :)

I wish it was fall/winter so I could wear it now

I think it might look good with yellow in the fall

It was bright outside while taking the photos so I kept scrunching my face

My Persimmon Tree Scarf

it looks long, but not long enough yet..

It is going to be so nice to wear

Sherbrooke Cowl

Sherbrooke cowl in progress

My Republic Hat

Another Republic Hat

Top of other republic hat

Is the button big enough?

Can't wait to wear this either!

This week was a busy week. My wrist has been alternating weeks of pain and no pain, so for one week no knitting for the next LOTS of knitting. This week I knit a few adult hats, a baby/toddler hat, a cowl for myself, almost finished a scarf I've been knitting for forever and did some other little things too.

For the wrist pain I've been seeing an upper extremity orthopeadist in Raleigh and so on Friday I had a MRI done on it. I go back in two weeks to find out if I do indeed have a ganglion cyst or what is going on in there. It's really quite annoying, especially how it just starts hurting and will hurt really bad for a few days and then get better for a few and then come back worse than the previous time.

Hooray! We bought a new car! Since we lived here we have had 2 cars off and on, the honda is quite finicky. Ken and Jordan did all this work when we moved here to put a button/switch in it to by-pass the switch that turned on the fuel pump and it has pretty much stopped being the magical cure for the Honda. We have gotten to the point where if we do drive it, if we have to make more than one stop when you get ready to drive again it won't go UNLESS you hold the button in. This wouldn't be so bad if the button was on say the steering wheel or just in the upper part of the "cabin", but it is down near where fuses go.. so near the floor. I'm quite short as you all know and so this is a trick of the most amazing kind to see me drive this car home while holding the button, changing gears, pushing in the clutch etc, all the while my face is literally lying on the steering wheel/airbag. So yes, the Honda has been in our parking lot for the past 3 months and has only been driven, lets say twice since our wedding in April. She's been put out of commission by her own actions.

So while we've only had the lancer that means I'm off driving Jordan to work in the mornings then getting myself to work etc, then returning in the evenings to get him. With him crunching this often means me driving home first and then back out a few hours later to pick him up from work. The lancer has seen lots of work in her first few years of ownership. I think she made 5 trips to and from MA.. which was nearly 800 each way, so LOTS of her mileage are from that.

Since the wedding was over we have been saving for our new car. We wanted to be able to put half of the total cost down on the car. We were able to do that so on Saturday Jordan and his dad went and took care of everything, so Monday we pick up the new car. We got a 2008 Mazda Speed 3 in a dark grey color. I can't wait to see it! (I was in Southern Pines with Angie while this was going on) It's going to be nice to have 2 cars again.

I can't think of any other news really.. that's about it.

Annoyances

2008-06-19T15:17:00.003-04:00

I was in a department store a few days ago and heard a lady complaining about having two children and that her husband had been working long hours. The clerk engaged her in conversation and she said "he's working such long hours and with the two children it's just so hard".

Annoyances

1. Two kids is pretty normal for American families, hard work but nothing over the top unless you have little brats.

2. Long hours typically means 10+ in my book.

Continue.

She said her husband was working 9.5 hours a day and not getting home until 6:30 or 7:00 every night.

I can say it is frustrating to get home later than normal but really? That is hard for her?

So after hearing this lady complain about this I became so confrontational (in my mind). I wanted to walk up to her and ask her the following questions rather gruffly.

1. Why is 9.5 such a long day?
2. Is your husband eventually home every night?
3. What do you suppose Military wives do?
4. Why are your two children so difficult for that amount of time?

Here's why it made me nuts.

I am not in the military nor is Jordan but we know people who are and how hard it is on their spouses and kids when they are gone.

I just couldn't help thinking about Military Wives/Mothers. There are so many and of course a lot of them have children. I wonder what MRS OVERWHELMED would think about having her husband gone for a good 2 years and she is home working and caring for 3 children. Not having your best friend/husband there with her at all to discuss life at the end of the day.

So many of our Military Moms go for very long periods of time without family living near by with 2+ children to care of all on their own. Meanwhile we have stay at home mom complaining about her life and how she can't get anything done with the kids, yadda yadda yadda.

I feel like people should be aware of the War, the Military and the gap it leaves in so many people's home life.

I hope MRS OVERWHELMED will think of this side of the story one day.

man I really wish I had confronted her now....

World Wide Knit in Public Day

2008-05-31T23:02:00.006-04:00

I am helping to organize the WWKIP day here in Cary NC and I wanted to use this entry to promote it.

World Wide Knit In Public Day
Saturday June 14 2008
Crabtree Valley Mall --food court--
10:00-UNTIL!

Please bring your knitting and good conversation and meet with fellow knitters in the food court

Can't wait to see everyone there!

Also- if you have a Ravelry ID button please bring it. We are going to try to take photos and would like to be able to send fellow Ravelers photos from the day.

100 Things

2008-05-24T13:30:00.005-04:00

1. I was raised by my Maternal Grandmother and step grandpa.
2. I was an only child until I was 12. gained a step sister
3. My dad had a son when I was 17, making me a half sister
4. I still love cartoons, like Talespin and Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers
5. I am obsessed with baby knitting
6. I learned to crochet before knitting. I learned in 2003/2004.
7. I learned to knit in 2006.
8. I still have the first rows I ever knit..
9. I am obsessed with checking my emails...
10. My husband and I went through school together, elementary, middle & high, but because he was a year ahead of me we didn't officially meet until late high school.
11. We immediately disliked one another.
12. He was my peer tutor in my art class. I always needed help.
13. We became really close after having oral surgeries. Me- tonsils, him- wisdom teeth.
14. Our first official date was out to eat at Applebees and then to the movies to see Austin Powers Gold Member.
15. We lived with his parents for two years while in school.
16. Our first apartment was in Orlando Florida.
17. Our first weekend in our first apartment was when Hurricane Frances beat central Florida.
18. We moved from Orlando to Methuen Massachusetts.
19. In 18 months we went through three hurricanes and 2 blizzards.
20. I can parallel park better than my Husband.
21. We adopted a cat in Orlando that was born during Hurricane Charley.
22. For 2.5 years we only had one car.
23. I have only ever lived alone for 3 months.
24. I am a Nanny.
25. I enjoy teaching infants sign language
26. Potted plants are all over my house!
27. I love to race go carts
28. I hate days under 20 degrees or over 80 degrees
29. I never played ANY sports growing up.
30. In Middle and High School I played the clarinet.
31. I still have some of the steps from marching band shows memorized.
32. I love baking.
33. I enjoy cooking.
34. I hate washing dishes... and loading a dishwasher.
35. I talk in my sleep still.
36. I got engaged in September 2006.
37. I got married April 2008.
38. I had ovarian cysts in middle school and high school.
39. I had uterine polyps removed in March 2007.
40. Because of this I have always been open about talking about my reproductive system.
41. I can drive a car with a manual transmission.
42. I won the spelling bee in my 7th grade year, got sick and my back up had to go to school bee.
43. I have never had strep throat.
44. I have never broken a bone.
45. I have never had stitches (other than my mouth/wisdom teeth)
46. My favorite music is Classic Rock
47. I enjoy scrap booking, just don't have enough time.
48. I will eat icing right out of the bowl.
49. I could eat spaghetti once every week
50. Every day I eat a banana.
51. My favorite tv channels are BBCamerica, History, Science, Discovery, Investigation Discovery and MSNBC
52. I really hate short texting/messaging. Stuff that teenagers tend to type YUCK!
53. I hate to see misspelled words.
54. My favorite kind of video games are games where you shoot and kill , such as Gears of War, Ghost Recon , and then fighting games such as Dead or Alive and Soul Calibur.
55. I am a roller coaster freak! LOVE THEM
56. Get overheated really easily.
57. Which leads to dehydration and vomiting.
58. I own entirely too much lip gloss
59. I watch Lockup Raw at night before I go to sleep.
60. I miss riding a bike.. in the way I did in my childhood
61. I make my own stitch markers for my knitting.
62. I have a picky palette.
63. I love fruit!
64. I like most veggies, but would prefer to eat most uncooked.
65. Snakes freak me out, and my first instinct is to kill them.
66. Anthropology was my favorite class.
67 . Shows about murders and murderers fascinate me.
68. I had eight grandparents.
69. Swinging at playgrounds is so much fun.
70. I don't like coffee from a coffee pot.
71. My favorite alcohol is tequila, mainly in margarita's.
72. Until about 6 years ago I never ate ethnic food.
73. I consider going to a dentist who performs sedation dentistry.
74. In 2005 I got to see the space shuttle take off.
75. Going on long walks with a jogging stroller are a favorite past time of mine.
76. I can change a diaper in under 30 seconds.
77. I watch between 1 and 3 movies a week
78. I have had to walk out of 3 movies, a) Kung Pow because it was dumb. b) Kill Bill Volume 1 because it made me sick on my stomach and c) Pan's Labyrinth because it was a bit too bloody at a few scenes for me.
79. I had braces from 1998 until 2000 which required me to have four teeth removed.
80. I had 5 wisdom teeth.
81. When living in MA I missed being able to buy Pimento cheese in store.
82. I really dislike Panera Bread meals. I love their bagel and danish selection but salads are not that great.
83. I have been to about 15 states in the US.
84. I really want to go overseas.
85. I love to watch Mythbusters.
86. Our living room has about 20 picture frames of all our family and friends.
87. Another TV addiction of mine is Law & Order, pretty much ANY of them.
88. In 9Th and 10th grade I marched in the Disney Electric Lights Parade. Within a year of the last one they discontinued it.
89. My favorite painting is Pablo Picasso's Guernica.
90. One of my favorite artists is Frida Kahlo.
91. Mitch Albom books are amazing and usually quite tearful reads for me.
92. I am counting down the days until the next Harry Potter movie.. and reading through the first four books currently (already finished the last ones)
93. I still enjoy sitting down with a box of crayons and a coloring book- especially when sick or recovering.
94. I have a very strange love of Children's books, especially winners of the Caldecott.
95. When I hear a voice narrating or I see someone in a movie/TV show that seems familiar I immediately run to IMDB.
96. I can't wait to own a home.
97. So we can think seriously abut another cat
98. I am seriously considering knitting baby items and just saving them for my future children.
99. I love walking on the beach late at night
100. I love going to the NC mountains and hitting up the old general stores.

just a 100 random things about me.

enjoy :)

Mrs. Walker it is

2008-05-04T23:25:00.002-04:00

So it's been nearly a month since my wedding. That's right, I'm Mrs. Walker now. The term "Mrs" just sounds odd, and I am quite excited to use my new name.

Let's see, what's been going on over the past few months? Hmmm....

1. April 6th 2008- My Wedding

My Bridesmaids seemed to have a curse following them.

Bridesmaid a) had car break down while she was driving to my place so we could ride together to my luncheon

Bridesmaid b) and family flew in from Massachusetts, on SKYBUS! Yep, the very weekend it closed it's doors, shut down all flights etc.

Bridesmaid c) no bad luck until she returned home to NYC, where he pup became ill thus throwing to her a rather large vet bill.

SO yeah, they all had some bad luck. lol.

The day of the wedding everything was cool, calm and relaxing except one thing. I COMPLETELY forgot my wedding veil! Yep, that's right, Ms. organization, right on top of that forgot her veil. Luckily I have awesome in laws and so my father in law (ken) drove over an hour and rummaged through our closet to find it. Apparently after my test hair it got sorta thrown in with other things and managed to be hidden, thus I forgot it and it took him about 45 minutes to find. lol. So yeah, I totally goofed up on that one. Ken really came through on that one, although I know he is still telling people, I just don't know how she forgot that dang thing. Who knows. I was stressed. It was my wedding weekend, I'm lucky I didn't forget my dress.

2. Changing name

It seemed like EVERYTHING had to be changed. I'm not sure that I have quite changed everything yet, mainly internet stuff that keeps popping up and I go OH YEAH! It's exciting but a pain in the rear at the same time.

3. Knitting

I don't have any photos, my camera went kaputz and so I have been unable to take any photos of my current knitting projects. I want a new point and shoot, but have no idea what I will get. We are thinking of purchasing the Canon Digital Rebel SLR. Yeah, big purchase to be done over the next year.

4. Harry Potter

In October I picked up Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on cd and Jordan and I listened to it for a few weeks while driving to and from work etc. Then we saw the movie. Then I thought, hey I can't wait to know what happens next I'll read the next book, Half Blood Prince. Well I picked it up and started reading. The first 300 pages took 3.4 months, the next 400+ pages took less than a week. I know I burned through about 230 in two days and so it was on to the next book, the last book. I read HP and the Deathly Hallows in about 10 days. That's right nearly 800 pages in 10 days. I was a reading freak around the wedding, I think it helped me to relax and sorta get lost and not think about all the things that could go wrong. So now I am currently reading the series, from book 1 to book 7. haha. Very Backwards I know.

5. Baby Boom

In the past month several people we know have had babies- CONGRATS TO YOU- or people have announced they are expecting. As you can imagine I have been rather busy coming up with gift ideas etc. Several things are on the needles currently.

What else? I can't really think of anything. Sad I know. It's been a busy month.

One thing that seems crazy to me is that one year ago this week we moved Jordan down here, which means he's been at Epic for a year! Where did the time go? I've been here for nearly 9 months and it's just crazy. We've been so busy and had so much going on. I'm ready for a vacation, which speaking of...

6. Honeymoon Planning

We are planning a trip to Las Vegas for October. We will probably stay somewhere that isn't super crazy, and in the middle of the strip. I'm sure his parents will recommend something that we will enjoy. The plan is to spend several days on the strip and go to Lake Mead/Hoover Dam as well. Our original ideas were to go to a national park, but with the time of year we are wanting to travel there is virtually nothing open or available at that time, so we just decided to hit up Vegas together.

Well I think I am off to bed. We were in Morganton NC this weekend for a wedding and I am rather sleepy from the driving back today.

Also to look at our online wedding album go to

Photos

for password and user name enter in either my first name or jordan's.

night!

Bridal Shower!

2008-03-24T23:25:00.007-04:00

-My Lovely Cake-

-Opening Morrison Gals gift-

-From Nanny & Paw-

-Heidi, Katie, Myself & Kelsey-

-Heidi, Katie, Me-

-Katie, Angie, Me-

-Opening gifts-

-Flatware and Serving Pieces-

-Slip Resistant Mixing Bowls-

-Gorgeous Blue Plate-

- Katie & Heidi were cracking me up, honestly-

-Wine Glass Markers-

-Cocktail Glasses-

-Cupcake Carrier/Baking Set-

-Opening Away-

Bridal Shower
March 15th 2-4pm- Brookwood Baptist Church Burlington NC

Yep- that's right. The wedding is quite close if I'm talking Bridal showers. Currently the wedding is 12 days away. My shower was a few weekends ago and it was really nice. I had so much fun, and got so many wonderful gifts. Katie's camera was the main camera in action that day. Apparently my current small digital camera has a taste for Duracell rechargeable batteries ONLY. Of course all I had with me that day was my energizer ones that just would NOT work. I was a bit irritated- to say the least.

Katie has a best friend in NYC, Tracy, who has a sister who also lives in Cary. She makes cakes and so she made my GORGEOUS (and Delicious) shower cake. It was carrot cake, with cream cheese frosting with a fondant covering. I loved it. It traveled safely and easily and we all enjoyed it- everyone seemed to be craving it late that night. I still have a 6 inch in the freezer frozen, waiting until one desperate evening when I just MUST have carrot cake. haha.

Rhonda made a super yummy punch, that I know I had at least five cups of. It was really good and green just the way I love it. Angela, Heidi, Katie and Patsy brought various dips, chips, fruits and veggies that completed the bridal shower theme. Everything was delicious, and I am pretty sure that I could have eaten three plates if I hadn't been socializing etc.

The day was not perfect weather wise. Driving to it was cloudy and a bit chilly, but us girls weren't freezing or anything. Driving back, it was another story. It started to rain about 35 minutes into the drive and Heidi and were both like- oh no- carrying this car full of stuff in, while it is pouring down is not going to be fun! Luckily Jordan and Shawn were both at the apartment ready to make mad dashes to and from car with packages piled high.

We finished off the evening, just the four of us, watching tv and eating papa johns pizza (too messy to venture out) and relaxing. I unpacked all the new things and started throwing out all the defective/old stuff. The next day Jordan and I took several bags of stuff we no longer wanted/needed to the local good-will store.

The "big" day is just upon the horizon. It's insane. We went last Friday and obtained our Marriage license. Very exciting. Windy day. Forgot camera. Forgot cash, had to run around downtown Raleigh trying to find an ATM. No luck. Found a CVS pharmacy. Jordan purchased tic tacs and I purchased a bottle water to get cash back so that we could pay the $50 for the license.

photos of the day. Thanks Heidi for being the camera girl and thank you Katie for having your camera!

-THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WAS ABLE TO TAKE PART IN MY SHOWER-

The day shall always be a happy memory.

I see you!

2008-02-25T01:49:00.004-05:00

Do you think I have been knitting recently? Haha. I would say so.. Socks... toys.. blankets... and about to begin some baby/birthday gifts. I am keeping my hands and mind busy/relaxed with all the stress coming from the wedding and the lack of my mom even being around/involved.

I am so proud of the little Elefante... although she/he has no name yet, it is a prized possession for me. I made it in under a week and i just love it. The hardest part for me was the eyes. I am such a pain in the rear about those sort of things, but since this wasn't going to a child I decided to go the button route.

Wedding is in around 40 days now. I am very excited, and at the same time just praying that things run smoothly. I don't expect things to be perfect, I'm not a freak, things are supposed to go wrong in life.

I guess the worst part has been the lack of my mom and her involvement. She's apparently all involved in her life now and has just missed out on a lot of things. I've quit trying... actually mailed her Christmas gifts to her yesterday. That's right.. mailed them. So I guess that would give you a good estimate of how long it's been since I have seen her. Well I have seen her once since Thanksgiving, that was the day we went shopping for her Mother of the Bride dress, however I have heard very little from her since then.

I am sure though she doesn't call because I am in general frustrated with her all the time. She goes days, weeks without the thought that she hasn't contacted me and then when she finally does I think she expects me to be grateful but usually I am more infuriated at that point. She always has some excuse for why she hasn't called and sadly they aren't usually the best excuses.

She got herself into a relationship with this guy who she dated when I was a kid, and to say the least he's crazy. I had horrible insomnia surrounding this during/around Christmas. I was worried, to say the least. Finally I just broke it, almost like a fever. I was able to say, she's an adult, she's going to do crazy irresponsible stuff and you being worried doesn't make that go away. I figured it wasn't worth having bags under my eyes on my wedding day.

I obviously feel the need to vent tonight. Perhaps it's the girl scout cookies and diet mt. dew or just built up anxiety keeping me awake.

OH We got our wedding bands a few weeks back. That was exciting. I had my test hair for the wedding done on Wednesday, it went great! Also I had my final dress fitting and the dress is perfect. I am so glad nothing major needed to be done to the dress.

hmm. What else?

My Bridal Shower is in 2 weeks. That's exciting. I can't wait to see everyone and just have fun with that day. Katie is coming in for it and I am so excited to see her since her surgery and everything. I wish she could have been here for more of the wedding stuff, although there isn't much that she could have done. I guess I just miss going to NY to see her.

Well I must have released something from my mind because I am suddenly exhausted!

off to bed we go!

Where did the last month go?

2008-02-07T23:54:00.000-05:00

So the last time I wrote on my lovely little blog was a month ago. Okay, where did time go?

I'll tell you where. Wedding planning. Knitting socks. Jordan's Birthday. Life. Work. Pilates. Netflix.

We've been so busy over the past few weeks finalizing Wedding Vendors and getting head counts etc. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the meetings we've done over the past 3 weeks alone. Tomorrow I meet with the harpist and have the jeweler look at my ring to see if they can make it fit into my engagement ring, so they sit nicely together.. Then Sunday Jordan and I are making a 2.5 hour drive to meet with the Preacher.

These long drives have become a staple for our weekly lives recently. We drive to High Point, Jamestown, Greensboro quite often to meet with this vendor or that, and then back to Cary for the tiny remainder of the day. However, the light at the tunnel is close! We are less than 60 days out now, and I am beginning to become a bit excited about the entire thing. We have so much to do yet, but it's starting to feel as though we have come to the top of the mountain, and are now going down the opposite side. YAY! haha.

My wedding dress arrives in/around the 26th of this month, so then I have to have a meeting with the alterations lady to figure out where it needs to be, well, altered. My guess is the bust, and the length. lol. Then I can finally go shoe shopping.

Tonight I purchased the wedding favors and bubbles and such. This week I purchased the centerpieces and Angie got her dress for the wddding. I also have found a few really pretty dresses for the Bridal Shower, Bridal luncheon and the Rehearsal dinner. My feet are going to be KILLING me by the time i walk down that aisle! Flats it is! lol.

Things we have yet to do

1. Final head count
2. Get the tux situation arranged
3. final seating arrangement.

We nearly had a disaster for our out of town guests. Tears were involved I must say. I think it's the only time I really got upset in this process. I've been stressed and wired etc, but not really upset until the day I found out that nearly every hotel (worth staying at) was booked due to the annual North Carolina Furniture Market. Yeah. If a hotel had a room available they were something like $300 a night!!! Nope. Angie came to the rescue and found a hotel that had some rooms available and so luckily we have rooms now for us and other guests who will be from out of town.

I go for my hair appointment on the 20th to do a test run, and sometime in March I'm going to get a slight shape up maybe and my hair dyed again.

I don't know what i am doing for jewelry yet etc. but that will work it's self out.

April 6th 2008 is nearly here. I'm rather excited. I'm still stressing out, but I am still excited.

Wedding jitters!

Now what to get Jordan for his wedding gift?!!

Wish us luck on the last few meetings!

Pilates!

2008-01-08T00:42:00.000-05:00

I started taking a Pilate's class last month and lookie here what I made! They are for pilates or yoga, and super comfy. The yarn I used is 45% cotton 40% Superwash Wool and 15% Nylon, so it's durable, a little warmer than just cotton yet still cool enough for warmer weather!

Yay me.. now on to "REAL" socks! you know the ones with heels and toes!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-04T10:03:00.000-05:00

Emerson was quite excited about her gifts

Emerson loves her blocks- and the sweater

How adorable am I?

Sweater made for Emerson

Sweater made for Lily

Early stage Lily

Body of Annabel's sweater

Annabel's sweater complete!

Sweater for Bayleigh
(when I have a complete photo I will post)

I feel so empty inside

Hello!

I like to smile!

Stego!!

The beginning of a new year symbolizes so much to so many people, all over the world. Everyone is planning out all the good they will accomplish in the coming year. Some will say, I plan to lose weight, and so gym memberships sky rocket and bagged spinach and brocoli are an hot item. Other's might plan to do more charity work in their community throughout this new year. It's sorta funny the way we look at the new year, we seem to feel as though it is a new beginning, a way to rid our minds and bodies of all the unhealthy eating, lazy days spent doing nothing.

I try to not set great expectations for myself because in the end of the year I wouldn't want to be disappointed in myself for not completing all my yearly tasks. I try to not think of it as a time to start over either, I'd rather look at it as if I were trying to improve on things that I improved on in the past year, continue to be better at those things.

Before the end of 2007 I was knitting an insane amount (predominately on Christmas items) and I had started to focus on being a bit more fit so I began taking a pilates class near my house. I am looking forward to all my upcoming knitting projects and I enjoy my pilates classes so much I can't see why I would discontinue them.

So my plans for the new year are simple. I would like to be in better physical and mental health before the upcoming wedding. I want to continue to make great strides in my ability to knit adorable knits for tots and hopefully I will graduate to making an adult garment of some kind. I really want to accomplish socks this year... I have to make it happen!

We had a relatively laid back New Year, Jordan, Shawn, Heidi and myself went out to eat at a local Mexican restaurant, then we came home to play board games, and we watched the ball drop. Nothing major at all. This was our sixth New Year's Eve together. We've come full circle since this is where we spent our first two together.

I hope that everyone had a fabulous New Year, no matter where you are, or what you did. Enjoy the first days of a wonderful new year!

Ancient Holiday Memories

2007-12-19T18:02:00.000-05:00

At this time of the year I am quite emotional inside, everything seems to stir up old memories. I think of all the family that I am no longer in contact with(by no means do I wish to bridge that gap) and I think of all the happy times with them.. and then it makes me sad. I'm not saying depressed or that I dwell upon the matter, but there are moments throughout the holidays that make me crazy inside with turmoil about how I should feel about a situation or memory. I was an abused child, however not by my Mother or Father, instead it was my grandmother. She had gained custody of me around the time I was to start school, so probably around 5 years old. My parents were splitting up (and they were young) and I knew that things were rocky. I remember telling my grandmother as we rode in her blue pontiac on the way to her home that I wanted to stay with my parents one week and her the next. She told me this wasn't possible (and the fact that I was a little one I believed her) so at some point she claims I said I wanted to live with her. I don't have this memory. I wish I did, because I feel it would make it a solid fact in my head that I made the choice, it was my decision at 4 or 5 to go and live with my "Grandy" and "Gramps". My parents "signed me over" to her and I went to live with them. My first Christmas there was a bit rough. I remember we had a Christmas tree that had the fake snow painted onto it. An argument broke out and then a fight.... by the end of the evening several Christmas items were broken and I was hurrying to steal my new Sesame Street ornament from a toppled tree. I saved the cherished ornament (given to me by my kindergarten teacher) and I remember the tree being thrown out the back door into our car port shortly after. I don't remember Christmas with my parents and as I have grown up that saddens me. I vaguely remember waking them my last Christmas with them and running into the living room to see all the toys I had gotten.. and I remember most of the dolls and strollers from that Christmas. I would go on to guard these toys for all of my childhood. I wish I could remember celebrating more than that brief time with them, but I don't and at the holidays it bothers me. I don't think about these things much throughout the year, but once my birthday has come and gone and Thanksgiving arrives it's on my mind in down time. It catches me off guard most of the time and I acknowledge it and remind myself that I have had a very nice life since becoming an adult. I have made great strides in my lifetime to run from that toppling Christmas tree. At this time of the year I meet that sadness with great appreciation for the life I have created with Jordan. I may not have a family of my own blood other than my mom and dad, but I have family and wonderful friends who I hold dear to my heart. I have these bonds with amazing people that had I not gone through an unstable childhood that I may not have today.

Growing up and not living with your parents was weird. I live in the bible belt and most kids I knew were living in "happy" homes with both parents or a step parent and they seemed to have the world in their hand. I was being raised by an abusive grandma that I loved with all my heart and soul. In all the variables that go into a life, she was my constant. I was afraid of not having a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my stomach so I stayed. I made the choice mentally to stay, take it because you know that you have a home to come back to every day. I loved her and she betrayed me. I never told anyone that could have helped because what would that do to my stable environment? What would that do to my family? I was so afraid of not seeing the people whom I loved that I didn't say anything. My parents were oblivious to the things going on behind those closed doors. Nobody knew. I kept it all to myself, too afraid to reach out to my friends or anyone. I made friends with other girls who seemed to have the same daily battle at home and they haven't been as fortunate as I have in their adult years. I know why abused children rarely speak, they are afraid of losing any stability or constant in their lives. The person abusing them is their own flesh and blood or that of someone who is involved with their family. At this time of year I tend to sit and think of all the other little ones out there suffering through the same daily struggles as I did all those years ago. I pray that they find the strength to go on another day like I did. They have such difficult daily lives and they don't deserve it by any means. I hope for the day that they can look back and say, I made it, and I've come much further than I would have ever thought I would.

Christmas is less than a week away. It's nearly here, and the emotions are high. It's going to be a different Christmas for many reasons. I am really optimistic this year, looking ahead to the new year that will be arriving soon. So many wonderful things will be happening in our lives and I am just bursting with excitement at the thought of each one. So many things will be taking place in those first 6 months of 2008. I can barely wait to see how they all turn out.

Happy Holidays.

Epic Christmas Party

2007-12-11T18:32:00.000-05:00

We had to wear name tags (which I must have lost mine)

Bill's wife Janet, doesn't she look like a princess?

Jordan talking with Mike and his wife Christy

That's me- talking with a fellow knitting Epic wife!

Of course that's us

I have no idea why I was doing my arm like that!

Over this past weekend Epic had their annual Christmas Party and it was quite nice I must say. They held it at Rey's Restaurant which is on the Cary/Raleigh border. They had a very delicious meal, Jordan had French Quartered Chicken and I had a savory 12 oz Filet Mignon. The desert afterwards was absolutely amazing, and we still have most of it in the fridge waiting to be devoured.

Our friend Bill brought his camera (so did I, however I forgot) and he took some photos of us which was great since we hadn't had any taken since Jordan's cousin's wedding in June.

The point is, the food was amazing, we had a great time and it made for a very exciting Sunday evening!

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2007-11-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, it's Practically Here!

I've been working on getting our decorations done and up and ready for the Christmas Season. It's here... again! I cannot believe that it is already here again. I think back to everything that was happening this time last year and my how our lives have changed again. Last year we were just buying our new car, which we've successfully put 21, 347 miles on since, and we had a house full of family and friends. Friends were just finding out they were expecting and family members were planning weddings! We had just gotten engaged and things were going well for the most part.

A year later we are in a different state, not a new state, but a different one, where the weather is warmer than I care for, but Jordan thrives in. We are close to family again, so we see them quite a bit and we've organized an unspoken routine of seeing our closest friends. Our wedding planning is nearly complete and our jobs are going wonderful- for both of us!

It feels as though mentally we've been in a state of transition nearly all year. Preparing for job hunting, job interviews, moving, packing, moving, driving, flying, apartment hunting, moving, etc etc. It's been a constant state of transition, that I am quite glad to see going out the window to some extent- I'm ready for the normal daily life to come back to our lives.

Wedding Planning is draining, and mainly because I go against the grain in wedding planning, I don't want the BIG TO DO~ with flowers and ribbons everywhere. I want a simple, AMANDA and JORDAN wedding, not a designer spend a down payment on a home wedding. I grit my teeth every time I think of something else we have to do... however... I am ABSOLUTELY in love with my dress and the place ( oh and Jordan too) ! It's going to be fabulous, even if I have to down few glasses of wine to stay calm and together! I'll make it through with a wonderful smile of accomplishment! We did it, 5 years and nearly 8 months later and we did it... we said the big "I DO" like we knew we would. What a wonderful feeling that will be. Married.

Christmas is here and I can't wait to see Katie. I wish she was here to go to a lot of this stuff with me, helping me with flowers and colors and everything, although her brother is really much better at all this than I am. We meet with a caterer on Friday, and I am hoping they are the one, and we can quit looking and price checking etc. It will be a great relief to have one more thing done!

Any who..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Birthday To Me ( a little late)

2007-11-21T22:46:00.000-05:00

So- last Monday was my 23rd Birthday, and I got lots of cards and some wonderful gifts from family and friends. We had a low key night with our friends Shawn and Heidi in which we had dinner and then played board games until quite late. It was my first Birthday back in North Carolina and it was a nice one.

My gifts this year-
My families in Massachusetts got me a wonderful box full of goodies from Crate and Barrel- fondue cook book, fondue set, 2 Reindeer Stocking holders (all of which are sure to be in Christmas photos soon I am sure!) Jordan gave me 2 board games, Apples to Apples, and Scrabble along with the Jungle Book on dvd (yay) Angie got me yarn a few weeks back at the knitting convention and then she had bought my veil for the wedding. My Mom got me the glass head I had been wanting from Pier 1 ( to display my knit hats upon) and I got some other little things that I had been wanting for our new apartment. Friends gave me gift cards, scarves etc- lots of very appreciated goodies!

It was a great Birthday.....
Thanks everyone!

SAFF

2007-10-30T22:54:00.001-04:00

Southern Animal Fiber Festival October 26-27 2007 Asheville North Carolina

Myself along with Angie and a knitting friend of hers we went to SAFF this past weekend. Of course my stash grew in size, how could I not buy some of the delicious yarn they had available there. It was only one night, and 2 days at the festival, but we had a great time.

I met with some of the fellow Ravelry-ers in the Blue Barn and talked with them about stands etc (as I had forgotten my knitting that morning in the hotel) and got my photo taken with the mascot, Bob.

Fall has finally arrived to us here in Cary North Carolina. Today when I left my house it was a "freezing" 35 degrees outside! I was in heaven! FINALLY! FALL...

Tomorrow is Halloween, and can you believe I've not decorated? I didn't even buy pumpkins this year. I guess my mind has just been on other matters. Maybe next year.

I am getting in a Christmas mood. Knitting gifts, making up "to buy" lists. Wrapping paper and ribbon is dancing through my dreams at night. I'm ready to bring it out and to start gift wrapping all the treasures I've found throughout the year. I know I will at some point in the next couple of weeks.

November is nearly here, which means my 23rd Birthday, Thanksgiving, and only 5 weeks from Christmas. I'm ready for chilly weather, coats and scarves. I do believe that we will have to take a trip to the mountains and go snow tubing! I hope we get the chance to do that.

anywho-

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Fall- Drought- Wedding- Busy

2007-10-22T01:18:00.000-04:00

So living in North Carolina is going well. We've had a great (busy) few month's here together. It's stayed hot the entire time I've been here until maybe a week ago, although it is still warm for my liking, it is at least cooling off some. We are dealing with a major drought here in the Cary area, and to my memory it's only rained three times in the three months I've lived here.

About three weeks ago on a Wednesday morning I was showering and it suddenly hit me that the Wedding date we had set aside for "THE DATE" for our wedding was only 3.5 months away. I freaked! Well, that was a good thing because since then we have ordered my dress, picked the venue (placing the down payment tomorrow), picked out the invitations, bought bridesmaids dresses, chosen the color theme, and chosen our favors etc.

It's been a crazy crazy month. We've been up and down and all around. A lot of good things have happened, as well as a lot of sad things, but I think we are doing well. We've stayed so busy since I've moved here that I think this weekend was the first that we slept in, and well... we slept until about 1:30 pm two days in a row. We were both just exhausted.

Today we went to the state fair in Raleigh, and it was crowded, smelly and fun. We ate entirely too many fried foods, and paid way too much to get trampled and fat. It was a good time with our friends Heidi and Shawn though. I guess it was worth it.

Wish me luck on this wedding planning. I think if I hear the words "it's all about the bride" one more time, heads will roll. I'm not a bridezilla. I just want a cheap, wedding that expresses to some extent who we are.

Happy Fall everyone!

in memory of Mary Walker or as we knew her Maw Maw

One Year Ago Today

2007-09-04T08:43:00.000-04:00

1. Jordan and I got engaged on the previous night
2. Steve Irwin died
3. We lived in Methuen, MA
4. We only had one car, and it was the Honda
5. We were already wearing jeans

So- In the past year a lot has happened..

November we bought our new car
March I had surgery
May Jordan moved to NC for this awesome new job
May- June- July and part of August we lived in different states
August I moved from MA to NC
August I started a new job
August the Honda died..
September 3rd we were engaged for one year

hmm. we are almost into 2008.. wonder what that will bring into our lives

August almost over?!!!

2007-08-29T02:27:00.000-04:00

Where did the time go? I haven't even had the time to post anything on here. My life has been extremely hectic with the move from Massachusetts to North Carolina. We are settling in nicely though. To say the least I need to post some pics- because there have been many photo op moments in my life recently when I have had photo's taken.

I am living in North Carolina again though. Already working and everything. I'm pretty exhausted though- so much to go through emotionally and physically with each move.

I'm happy to be back near family and friends, however I am terribly homesick for New England. I miss my families that I worked for there and my knitting group that I absolutely adored.

Good things about living in North Carolina-

1. Back with Jordan
2. Near family/friends
3. It's a great career opportunity for Jordan
4. Boone/Blowing Rock
5. Wilmington
6. the food! ahahah
7. new apartment
8. new furniture
9. having new friends to be social with
10. settling back into a normal routine!

i'll go into great detail about the past few months in a few weeks..... there is just so much going on currently.

Thursday Jordan and I will celebrate 5 years together, which is extremely exciting. Where has the time gone? Gee.. seems like yesterday we were hanging out during the summer recovering from our oral surgeries. Those were the days of Claires and UPS... life has definitely changed-

Well time for bed.. I mean it's only 3 am. ahha

for all of you Mass people- I miss you terribly!

My Mom Visits

2007-07-18T12:25:00.000-04:00

My Mom in the hat I made her

She picked the yarn from my stash and I made
it between Saturday and Tuesday

Dory?

Paul Revere Mall Fountain

The reef at Boston's Aquarium

Paul Revere

Not the best photo of the shark,
but the best one I was able to get

Myrtle Turtle- literally that's her name

Turtle

I love this fish

Lion Fish

looking into the tank

Shower anyone?

Really it's nice!

My boxes in our office

more boxes

The Holocaust Memorial

Our first kitchen table. I bought while in NC over
the 4th- finally no more eating on the sofa!

My Mom came to visit me and we did a lot of packing as you can see by my boxes above. She did some cleaning for me, which is helpful, because now I can focus on finishing my packing. I also made her that hat from Classic Elite Yarns Lush (angora wool) and it fit her small head great.

Only a few more weeks and we move. The past few weeks have been rather emotional. I'm excited to be with Jordan again, but sad at the thought of leaving my families here in New England. It's a lot to take in at once. Wish me luck, because I know my eyes are going to continue to be swollen over the next few weeks.

NC trip/ Family Wedding

2007-06-17T21:00:00.001-04:00

I ate it 3 times in one weekend! (not the bologna)
yumm... cheese biscuit diet dr. pepper

Angie and Katie all glammed up

Katie, Angie and Jordan- they all look so nice.

Our Family. I'm the shortest actually..

One Happy Couple

MY WEEKEND

Thursday- 9pm 1st attempt at sleep- no luck. asleep at 1am
Friday- 2am up and dressed- 3am in car on the way to Boston Logan International Airport- 5am Flight to Charlotte- 7am flight to RDU-8:30am JORDAN! yay- breakfast- afternoon nap.
Saturday- Breakfast- get ready for wedding- 3-11 Wedding in Greensboro-
Sunday- 9am up, breakfast- 1pm RDU- 2:15pm Flight to LGA- 5pm Flight to Boston- 7pm home again!

Angie's Visit, Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, Yarn Shopping,

2007-06-14T22:48:00.000-04:00

Heath Hen Yarn and Quilt Store-
Martha's Vineyard, Vineyard Haven MA

The Island Queen Passenger Ferry-
took from Falmouth to Oak Bluffs

The British Beer Company-
Falmouth, Ma, YUMMY Pot Roast!
(and the tallest Margarita for $7 anywhere!)

Our view from the restaurant

We had to at least walk out, if it hadn't
been so cold
I would have definitely
walked out on the rocks for a "better" shot

Even though it looks extremely
sinister we really had no bad weather

Our first stop- Eva's Yarn Shop, Fairhaven Ma

So last weekend Angie came to visit and we took a trip down to the Cape and Martha's Vineyard. We had the best time, eating, talking and hitting as many yarn shops as we could. We stayed in Falmouth Mass and went to several different shops in the area including one over in Vineyard Haven on Martha's Vineyard. Of course we came back with lots of goodies- many bags of yarn.

It went by rather quickly, and we were back to Methuen before we knew it. I do believe that I now have enough yarn for projects clear through Christmas! Of course knowing how crazy the next several months will be we could be looking at projects that take me until next Christmas to complete.

I wish I had more pics, but I just didn't get the camera out as much as I should have. I have go to work on that aspect of my trips.

This weekend I am going to NC for a wedding and to see Jordan of course. As sad as I will be to leave all my families on the North Shore I am going to be SO happy to be living with Jordan again. It really stinks to be away from your best friend/ future husband for 3 months! BLAH. Well only 7.5 weeks to go before I move down and in that time I have plenty to keep me busy. Jordan keeps joking about how him leaving is the best thing that could have happened to my knitting skills, and sadly it probably is. I have been more focused on completing more advanced projects.

I'll hopefully have LOTS of pictures from the upcoming weekend to share when I get back. My goal is to get several really great photo's of Jordan and myself as well as some of the family all together at this wedding. I don't believe one exists of Jordan, Katie, Angie, Ken and myself- so that is one thing I am aiming to accomplish this weekend.

wish me luck! I'll post some pics of the updated yarn stash one day maybe....

Booties Galore

2007-05-23T23:12:00.000-04:00

Cook Booties- due mid June

Cook Booties-

my two hobbies meet

As you can see my hands haven't taken much of a rest this week. My left one in fact is killing me. haha. Oh well. I am having SO much fun with these baby gifts. I have some more stuff in the works.. so we'll see what I churn out next! Hope everyone is having a great week, I had a crummy day and these booties just made it all better. Feeling that beautiful, soft green yarn (50% cotton, 45% Viscose & 5% silk) slip through my fingers just made all the days worries go away. Hopefully tomorrow will bring the same enjoyment to my hands.

Jordan's Gone= Knitting Mania

2007-05-21T00:02:00.000-04:00

So as some of you may already know Jordan is living in Cary North Carolina now. He got the new job there at the beginning of May, and moved there on the 7th. I am living out the summer at our home in Massachusetts, which calls for lots of therapeutic knitting. My needles have been calling my name all hours of the day, and night. There are so many projects for me to begin.. it's a bit overwhelming.

To top it off my absolute favorite, and most convenient yarn shop in Newburyport Mass. is closing it's doors at the end of June, thus leaving me with 1.5 months with NO store! OMG!

With these major events all I can do is take full advantage of Netflix , and immerse myself in my love, knitting. In the past week I have completed 3 projects and have one more that will be complete within 48 hours. WHOO HOO! (go amanda)

Annabel's 2nd Birthday Dress
Flutterby Dress

Baby Su bootie not sewn

Booties Complete!

These Booties were so much
fun and extremely easy

Can You tell I'm proud of my booties?

2007-05-03T22:09:00.000-04:00

Sun obviously in our eyes!

Poor Winston

a bit blurry, but good

Winston!

walking up the hills to the park

hello

we are obviously tired...

aww cute.

We obviously had a great time in NY with Katie.

Recent Happenings

2007-04-15T00:29:00.000-04:00

Where you get off the Fung Wah at

Us- tired at Katie's apt

Katie

Bowery and Canal NYC

Bowery and Canal NYC part deux

DUANE READE in CHINATOWN

Happy Spring(?) Everyone!

So, our Spring in New England has consisted of not one, but two snowy days in April. We've not had many days where we had nice weather. It's been a bit of a bummer. Average high has been around 40 I guess. BLAH! I'm ready for some walking with the kids weather.

Things-

I went to NYC to visit Katie at her new apartment last weekend, Angie was there. It was nice to see them that's for sure. We had a great time, we shopped on Canal st ate at Cosi- so of course we all had a great time. We got dresses for upcoming weddings in the family.

June 2007- Weddings June 9th Cody & Meghan say I Do June 16th Jessica & Steve (Jessica is Jordan's cousin) June 31st Frances & Fiance' Obviously we won't be in NC for all three weddings... which is a bit of a bummer.

Plans- We (being Jordan and myself) are going to NYC this weekend together for the first time in about 4 years. We'll stay with his sister which will be nice. We don't have a ton planned out. We are going to the American Museum of Natural History on Saturday. I'm looking forward to doing that again. Jordan and I did that five years ago and we really enjoyed it so we are going to do it again this time. Katie has never been, I just hope she enjoys it. [For all the kids/parents, this is the museum that Night at the Museum was based in]

What I'm ready for- 1. Warmer Weather!!!
2. New Episodes of Tv shows!
3. People to come visit us in New England!
4. other things.. not sure what they are yet though

Surgery and Snow Storm

2007-03-17T19:49:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I had my surgery. It went well. I wasn't in much pain and had very little Nausea afterwards. yay! So that's all over finally. I'm so glad. I came home and slept most of the evening etc.

While I was in Pre-Op it started snowing, and by the time I could go home (around5pm) it had snowed several inches. It was a messy drive home, there were plows on the road but it was so thick and coming down so fast they didn't help much.

Today I've been knitting and shredding old paperwork and just taking it easy overall. It's been a good day to do that.

Poor Jordan though, he has the entire responsibility of digging out both cars since I'm not capable. I feel so bad for him having to do that. I guess tomorrow I may help to clean the windows off- but nothing too crazy. Gotta take it easy.

Hope that Everyone is having a great St. Patty's Day!

Life as we show it

Memorial Necklace

The Miscarriage

Yarn Sale!

Twenty-Ten

Summer Heat

NO DOUBT & Paramore

Sunday May 24th 2009

Eno River Friday May 22nd 2009

Duke Homestead Friday May 22nd 2009

Pickles & Oreo

Mother's Day

I am in serious withdrwal.....

and the clouds faded away

I got bitten....

is it April yet?

February Already

january was busy

Wow it's 2009

Halloween- Knitting Group and Pickles!

GEARS OF WAR 2 Launch

Pumpkins

I am ridiculously behind!

Common and N*E*R*D

Battle One - Oreo vs. Pickles 2008

My Tuesday Morning....more blankets.... Pickles...and more

Pickles is learning to roll over

Pickles New Harness

How sweet of you Oreo

Bad Dog Pickles!

Blanket for Pickles # 2

Pickles 10 weeks old

Pickles and Oreo adjusting to each other

Pickles on Youtube

Pickles on Youtube

Pickles 7 weeks old

Pickles is Home!

Introducing Pickles!

Puppy Business

Our New Car!

A Tribute to THE Honda

New Car, Knitting, MRI

Annoyances

World Wide Knit in Public Day

100 Things

Mrs. Walker it is

Bridal Shower!

I see you!

Where did the last month go?

Pilates!

Happy New Year!

Ancient Holiday Memories

Epic Christmas Party

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Happy Birthday To Me ( a little late)

SAFF

Fall- Drought- Wedding- Busy

One Year Ago Today

August almost over?!!!

My Mom Visits

NC trip/ Family Wedding

Angie's Visit, Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, Yarn Shopping,

Booties Galore

Jordan's Gone= Knitting Mania

Recent Happenings

Surgery and Snow Storm

Common and NER*D