I see you!

Do you think I have been knitting recently? Haha. I would say so.. Socks... toys.. blankets... and about to begin some baby/birthday gifts. I am keeping my hands and mind busy/relaxed with all the stress coming from the wedding and the lack of my mom even being around/involved.

I am so proud of the little Elefante... although she/he has no name yet, it is a prized possession for me. I made it in under a week and i just love it. The hardest part for me was the eyes. I am such a pain in the rear about those sort of things, but since this wasn't going to a child I decided to go the button route.

Wedding is in around 40 days now. I am very excited, and at the same time just praying that things run smoothly. I don't expect things to be perfect, I'm not a freak, things are supposed to go wrong in life.

I guess the worst part has been the lack of my mom and her involvement. She's apparently all involved in her life now and has just missed out on a lot of things. I've quit trying... actually mailed her Christmas gifts to her yesterday. That's right.. mailed them. So I guess that would give you a good estimate of how long it's been since I have seen her. Well I have seen her once since Thanksgiving, that was the day we went shopping for her Mother of the Bride dress, however I have heard very little from her since then.

I am sure though she doesn't call because I am in general frustrated with her all the time. She goes days, weeks without the thought that she hasn't contacted me and then when she finally does I think she expects me to be grateful but usually I am more infuriated at that point. She always has some excuse for why she hasn't called and sadly they aren't usually the best excuses.

She got herself into a relationship with this guy who she dated when I was a kid, and to say the least he's crazy. I had horrible insomnia surrounding this during/around Christmas. I was worried, to say the least. Finally I just broke it, almost like a fever. I was able to say, she's an adult, she's going to do crazy irresponsible stuff and you being worried doesn't make that go away. I figured it wasn't worth having bags under my eyes on my wedding day.

I obviously feel the need to vent tonight. Perhaps it's the girl scout cookies and diet mt. dew or just built up anxiety keeping me awake.

OH We got our wedding bands a few weeks back. That was exciting. I had my test hair for the wedding done on Wednesday, it went great! Also I had my final dress fitting and the dress is perfect. I am so glad nothing major needed to be done to the dress.

hmm. What else?

My Bridal Shower is in 2 weeks. That's exciting. I can't wait to see everyone and just have fun with that day. Katie is coming in for it and I am so excited to see her since her surgery and everything. I wish she could have been here for more of the wedding stuff, although there isn't much that she could have done. I guess I just miss going to NY to see her.

Well I must have released something from my mind because I am suddenly exhausted!

off to bed we go!