Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Twenty-Ten


-Purl Soho-

-Central Park November-

-ROLLER DERBY-

-Zoo-

-Epic Holiday party-

-My 25th Birthday-


-We had this on our front porch for a few weeks before Halloween & then on Halloween I wore the outfit and scared all the neighborhood kids... best Halloween EVER!-

- our 90lb pumpkin that Ken grew for us :)-

-Coraline trying to not be eaten by a zombie-

-brains-

good-bye 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR! and all that stuff. It's January 2010... wow. I have to say that as a child I thought by this time we'd have flying cars and live in a very 'Jetson' like world. I have yet to decide if the world we live in is even close to my childhood expectations, but it's the world we are in. I guess in the grand scheme it's a pretty interesting time and we have made great technological advances since our elementary days, I mean I carry a computer in my pocket everyday. If in 1994 you would have told me that I would have a phone that was also something that browsed the internet (which I knew nothing of at the time) and played games etc I would have thought you were an escapee from an institution. It's our world. It's no flying cars and space helmets but it is a time that is quickly advancing in the technology department.

My 2009 brought about so many adventures and trying times but I am proud to say that I am entering 2010 with a new understanding of my life, my goals and my dreams. I can look at who I was and make judgment, see who I am today and look forward to who I hope to be in 5, 10 years. I made great personal strides during 2009 and it is all coming together to make for a very happy 2010.

I have regained a functional relationship with my Mom and I am happy with where it is now. My expectations are lower, but not in a degrading way, I have just come to terms with what my parents can emotionally offer me. I have also learned what boundaries I need to establish in order to not be so negatively affected if and or when things don't work out the way I had hoped they would.

My relationship with my Dad is still an odd one, but I am not torn when I don't hear from him for long extended periods of time. I accept him and I look forward to the times we do talk or see each other but I don't dwell on the times we don't. It's a good mental compromise.

In 2009 I had several conversations with the Grandmother who raised me, and many were tear jerkers for me. They went against every instinct that I have but in the end I think they worked out well. I was able to express my anger and pain about our former lives that I had not previously been able to. I know that most of my family still sees me as a child but for the first time there was a moment where I think she heard me for the adult I have been for many years. The best part of this was the power was in my hands and I dictated contact, not her.

Jordan and I bought a home which changed our daily lives. I have started cooking more and I have gotten into running and made some changes to my life and I am hoping to continue all those healthy changes in 2010.

I don't have resolutions this year. I just don't. I feel like I would rather focus on improving my daily routines and the organization of my life than set goals. We'll see how the first few months go.

I have hopes for 2010- things that pertain to my health, my hobbies, my marriage and my friendships. So we'll see where those things lead over the next 12 months.

Happy 2010!